Strange note on the fridge

My wife left a note on the fridge...

"It's not working! I can't take it anymore; I've gone to stay at a friends house!"

I opened the fridge, the light came on and the beer was still cold...

What the hell is she talking about?!!

The girl biker bar

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke ?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke ?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters ... 'No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'

Accomplices

So there...Take that!

Springer

Ha!

Re "tired"

On my companies Intranet, they posted a retiree.

Actual post below, with exception of removing his first name and my company name...

Dunlap to retire


Dunlap will retire on Feb. 27 after 39 years with “Undisclosed company name”. A reception will be held from 2 to 3:30 p.m. on Feb. 24 in the Financial Services Building common area.



Being as Dunlap is the stock Harley Davidson tire, does anyone else find this a wee bit peculiar?
Sounds like Dunlap is making retreads now.
Um... my bike has some bald tires. I think I need to Retire with Dunlaps.

Rage

I'm usually a pretty peaceful guy, but I fear that if I saw this little pecker head on the streets I'd have to commence in some serious ass kicking, face pulverizing and wipe that F'n smile off of his face.
Just sayin....

I was too drunk to drive my motorcycle home last night.

Last night I went out drinking with my buddies.
We went to the local watering hole we always meet at.
A good time was had by all.
Maybe too good a time for me, because I was way too drunk to safely ride my motorcycle home.
Being the responsible person I am, I was going to get a cab. When I called for one, the wait was longer than I was willing to stand, and I really wanted to leave before Momma got too angry 'bout how late I was out with the guys. So the next best option was to take a bus home; which I did.
It was pretty amazing, because I have never driven a bus before, and I haven't yet figured out who's bus it was that I took either! I'm guessing I'll find out soon enough.

The Ken Fox Troup and the Wall of Death

THE WALL OF DEATH from benedict campbell on Vimeo.

Start your day with a good dump!

Headlining news! Diego busted!

In today's news...

Dora the Explorer's cousin Diego takes up a life of crime; and witnesses report that he had a sidekick named Swiper with him. 

Diego was caught in the act and photographed by some locals.

America's dumbest Criminals has footage of Diego trying to burglarize a home in Denver, Colorado. While attempting to gain access into the home or flee the residence, he got stuck between the opening  of a window air conditioner and the window frame.

Local Denver Police responded to the 911 call made by a neighbor and now have Diego in custody for questioning. Charges for the attempted theft are being pressed. The police released a statement that no one was hurt, and nothing was stolen, and because nothing was near the window and the home owners reported nothing stolen, they believe Diego got stuck trying to enter the home.

Local witnesses report Swiper the Fox likely had involvement in the attempted burglary. This was confirmed by the responding officer who reports that he saw Swiper the Fox fleeing the scene upon their arrival.

A warrant for Swiper the Fox has been isssued, and it is believed that he may be armed and dangerous!

JOE KING SPEEDSHOP

Kulest F'n helmets made.

I got a new lid this year. It is custom made in Brazil from Joe King Speed Shop. They make them to order with custom paint. They are the lowest profile 'Ol skool helmets on the market. Lower profile than any other brand out there! Lower profile means less wind drag.

No kidding, this is the ONLY helmet I've ever owned that I truly love. I like it so much that I'd rather wear it than not wear a helmet at all, and Minnesota is not a helmet law state.

It just feels good and looks freaking awesome.

85+ M.P.H, and still little to no wind drag with this helmet and no windshield.

It is not DOT, but still way better than no helmet, if you are looking for safety.

Also, it looks F'n cool. No mushroom head.

I had a 3/4 Fulmer V2 helmet prior to this one and I thought that was pretty good, but still had some significant wind drag, which wore me out if riding all day on the freeways. Also, in comparison to this helmet, I did actually look like I had a mushroom head.

This is much lower profile than the Fulmer V2.

If you go to the website http://joeking-speedshop.blogspot.com/ , you can see the difference in size of the Joe King helmets, Vs. the other brands out there.

Here is a few pictures with me wearing my new Lid, so you can see for yourself that the helmet is realyy low profile and is really F'n cool looking.

Thanks Paulo! I Love my new lid!

P.S. Check out the website to look an a gazillion other custom helmets he has done for clients.

You too can have a custom helmet made for yourself. I swear you won't regret it! 

Really?, No I mean REALLY?

Yesterday while driving down the road, I saw the most fucktarded motorcycle yet. A newer BMW with apes and forward controls going down the road. I didn't have time to get a photo of it, before it exited onto another part of the freeway. I tried to find a picture of another douchetard's bike similar to it to show you how stupid it looked, but I couldn't find even one. I wonder why. Prolly 'Cause it looks fucking stupid!!!!

I feel better now that I've gotten that off my chest and shared it with you.

Wanna know how I really feel?

  

How much you say?

Kindly stolen from Volksrat's blog.

Really?

O.K. at least I gotta give it to her that she respects the Harley.

666 ... Resident Evil

I drove by this house yesterday. There was nothing special about it except the address. It didn't look weird or anything, so I didn't bother taking a picture of it. However, I did take a picture of the mailbox.

I'm into things like skulls and such; you know, stuff that looks kinda bad ass. But this... I don't think I could live here. Honestly. It would creep me out. Besides, what do you think it would do for your re-sale value?

I think it is kind of cool how they played off of it though. Note the black creepy mailbox in comparison to the others in the bank of mailboxes, and the positioning of the numbers are kind of like the almost triangle on Damien's head from the Omen.



I guess if that is the address you end up with, why not be clever about it.

Still creepy.

Nice day for a ride

There is nothing like the open road to put a little spark into a relationship!

2011 Donnie Smith Bike Show

Here is some stuff that caught my eye.


Sweet!!! Need I say more?





Iron Maiden's Eddie was pretty cool.





Love the little creepy dude, and LOVE this paint!




Big front wheels seem to be a new trend.





Thought this one was pretty sweet.

My fortune cookie says....

Money is the root of all evil and man needs roots.

I love it!

Yuengling Traditional Lager

I peeled off my bottle label and brought it back home just to share with you.

Since 1829 by America's Oldest Brewery!

Now that's saying something!

I was Yuengling de-virginized when I was on storm duty handling insurance property hail claims in Alabama this spring. Now had it not been for posts from Jay at Road Captain USA, I would have never even heard of this beer, let alone been intrigued enough to try it. You see, Jay lives in Delaware. Just a hop skip and a jump away from Pennsylvania where Yuengling is brewed.

WTF this beer was doing all the way across the country in Alabama, I've no clue, but there it was. I just had to try it. I'm glad I did, cause it is pretty damn fine beer.

I'm not a big fan of beer with little to no beer flavor. You know those Sexy beers, those beers that are like love in a canoe. You know. Fucking near water! HA! LOL!

I must admit, even though it is virtually flavorless, I do partake in a Mich Golden Light here and there to try to help keep in check my slender girlish figured beer belly.

Anyway, it is an amber beer. Not what I expected at all.

Thanks Jay for the heads up way back when.

Think I'll go get me a beer now that we are talking about it. You go do the same. Cheers!

Back together

The Titan Sidewinder that I custom painted has been put back together. I hope to see it in person soon. Yeah, someone else owns it, just like most things I paint, but a little piece of it feels like it is mine.

The paint jobs always take on a different feel when the bike is put back together.

I'm diggin this one.