Sunday, May 11, 2008
A Mother's day tribute. Why do so many bikers name their motorcycles after women?
I've posted before that I named my bike Kenny after my father Ken, because I though Ken sounded too serious for me, and I could not name it Shirley and Ken, cause that just sounds stupid for a motorcycle name. I choose my father's name because I think personally that Motorcycles, no matter how sexy, are kind of a masculine thing.
Anyway, tons of folks name their bikes after women. It is standard tradition. I think some of it might come from the infuences their mother's had on them as children.
So for a Mother's Day tribute to all of the mothers out there, I give you the top 25 reasons to say thanks to Mom.
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL . 'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. ' Because I said so, that's why.'
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
7. My mother taught me IRONY 'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA . 'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION. 'Stop acting like your father!'
15. My mother taught me about ENVY . 'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't h ave wonderful parents like you do.'
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPA TION. 'Just wait until we get home.'
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING . 'You are going to get it when you get home!'
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'
19. My mother taught me ESP. 'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . 'If you don 't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 'You're just like your father.'
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE . 'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !!
(O.K. my father taught me number 25. But I think my mom had some secret influence going in on this one as well.)
I was the third of three children. Not referred to as the third child, but rather the "terd" child.
As I was running through the house with scissors, wearing a pair of dirty underwear, I realized I needed to get you a Mother's Day card. (My actual words were "Damn, I need to pick up a F-n card for Mom!"
So, with my messy hair, and unbrushed teeth, I hitched a ride to the store with a perfectly nice stranger who gave me some candy. And without the sales clerk (who I think you know from church) even noticing, I stole this card for you!
Well, anyway, I gotta go... My no good friends are jumping off a bridge, and, of course, I have to do it too!
Happy Mother's Day
from your son