"I pulled you over for Speeding. Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"

Regardless of what you ride, even if you don't ride at all, EVERYONE is welcome here.

Mr. Motorcycle

I am

My photo
I live at 1 Frozen place in, Minnesota, United States
My real name is Mark. For many years now my wife has called me Mr. Motorcycle. When I started my Blog I was looking for a catchy blog name, so I went with it. I'm happily married and I'm also a father of 6 children. I have two human offspring, one dog, two cats and one custom Harley. I believe that makes 6 children. When I'm not doing my real full time job, or going for a ride, I like to do art, custom paint jobs, and of course BLOG. If you would like to contact me, my e-mail address is phonetically spelled for avoiding spammers. (I actually do use the number 1 in the beginning.) 1mrmotorcycleATgmailDOTcom

*****This is my Bliss*****

*****This is my Bliss*****
Depending on your settings, Click, or Double Click on the image for full size photo.
The photo above is my ride :
"Kenny" started life as a stock '97, 883 Sportster. It's been a work in progress since the day I bought it many years ago. Its mostly custom with a built, "slightly juiced up" 1200 motor.
The Metal Fabrication, bodywork and custom paint was done by me.

How the Hell did I come up with a name like Kenny for my bike you ask?...... Most people who name their rides, go with chick names. I of course had to be different. I think bikes look tough, cool and masculine; not feminine. Plus, my father "Ken" has helped make me who I am today. Therefore with a little twist on the name, my bike was named "Kenny".

KUSTUM PAINT

KUSTUM PAINT
Come check out my custom paint! Click on the logo above to go to my custom paint blog.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Noah's Ark 2008 joke

In lieu of Friday 7-11-08's post Noah's Ark Animal Welfare Association, Inc.,
I give you a Noah's Ark Funny, or in this case kinda not so funny!

NOAH’S ARK 2008


In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah,
who was now living in the United States , and said: 'Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans.'He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: 'You have six months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.'
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.'Noah!' He roared, 'I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?''Forgive me, Lord,' begged Noah, 'but things have changed.
I needed a building permit.
I've been arguing with the inspector
about the need for a sprinkler system.
My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.
Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
Getting the wood was another problem.
There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive,
and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark
until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.
The trade unions say I can't use my sons.
They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.
To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets,
claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark. '
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine,
and a rainbow stretched across the sky.Noah looked up in wonder and asked,'You mean you're not going to destroy the world?'

'No,' said the Lord.'The government beat me to it.'

10 comments:

Lady Ridesalot said...

Your right! That's not a "ha ha" funny, but a "ain't that the truth" funny. So sad. It still rings true with how bad everything has gotten. Did you see that movie "Evan the Almighty"? It's really pretty funny and I enjoyed watching it. The modern day Noah really wouldn't stand a chance these days! Thanks for sharing and have a great week!

mrs rc said...

Its disgusting & sad how true that is!

FLHX_Dave said...

hahahahahah! I think that is hella' funny only because I have lived through it, being I had to build my shop myself. Thanks for the laugh. Isn't the truth funny when you really take a good look at it.

B.B. said...

Perfect!

"Joker" said...

Yup, that pretty much says it all. I don't know whether we should be laughing or crying though.

mrs rc said...

On another note entirely....
do you realize that your page takes twice as long to load as anyone else's site? Maybe you need to "res down" the pics in your header or something. (just trying to help)

Mr. Motorcycle said...

Mrs. R.C.,
I adjusted how many posts show on my main page from 100 down to 10. I do use a lot of High Resolution photos in my posts, so loading these for 10 posts was slowing the whole thing down. My high res. flames in my header are the last thing to load. so don't wait for it to load flames before reading on. hopefully this will help the delay in loading this site.

Thank you for the constructive critizm.

Mr. Motorcycle said...

correction to last comment. "so loading these for 10 posts was slowing the whole thing down."

should be 100 posts.

Mr. Motorcycle said...

Lady R.,
Any time.

Mrs. RC.,
sad but true I agree.

FLHX Dave,
Hope it didn't take you 10 years!
I can relate to this. My father in-law is a commercial contractor. I hear all the stories.

BB.,
Thanks.

Joker,
Maybe tears of laughter.

Dean "D-Day" said...

Too true, too true. Sad, but true.