"I pulled you over for Speeding. Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"

Regardless of what you ride, even if you don't ride at all, EVERYONE is welcome here.

Mr. Motorcycle

I am

My photo
I live at 1 Frozen place in, Minnesota, United States
My real name is Mark. For many years now my wife has called me Mr. Motorcycle. When I started my Blog I was looking for a catchy blog name, so I went with it. I'm happily married and I'm also a father of 6 children. I have two human offspring, one dog, two cats and one custom Harley. I believe that makes 6 children. When I'm not doing my real full time job, or going for a ride, I like to do art, custom paint jobs, and of course BLOG. If you would like to contact me, my e-mail address is phonetically spelled for avoiding spammers. (I actually do use the number 1 in the beginning.) 1mrmotorcycleATgmailDOTcom

*****This is my Bliss*****

*****This is my Bliss*****
Depending on your settings, Click, or Double Click on the image for full size photo.
The photo above is my ride :
"Kenny" started life as a stock '97, 883 Sportster. It's been a work in progress since the day I bought it many years ago. Its mostly custom with a built, "slightly juiced up" 1200 motor.
The Metal Fabrication, bodywork and custom paint was done by me.

How the Hell did I come up with a name like Kenny for my bike you ask?...... Most people who name their rides, go with chick names. I of course had to be different. I think bikes look tough, cool and masculine; not feminine. Plus, my father "Ken" has helped make me who I am today. Therefore with a little twist on the name, my bike was named "Kenny".


Come check out my custom paint! Click on the logo above to go to my custom paint blog.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Pet Cock Tip....errr, I mean here's a petcock tip

Ha! got your attention. No this is not pornographic. It is the part of a non fuel injected, or carburated bike that controls your fuel flow.
Off, Run and Reserve are the three positions. O.K., Still sounds kind of pornographic talking about three positions. Stay with me, there is a point cumming, I mean coming.

While in Colorado on storm duty, I was on my way back to the airport rental to return my rental vehicle. It was about 97 degrees, with no breeze, and no clouds. I spotted a guy on the side of the freeway sitting on a guard rail next to his motorcycle. He was not on the phone, and not doing anything, which led me to believe he might need a hand. (Of course I stopped).

I asked, "Are you just resting, or is the bike giving you trouble?"

He said, "I'm out of gas."

Me,"I gotta ask the obvious, how bout the reserve?"

Him, "I tried it. No gas. Won't start."

Me, "Let me run through the scenarios. Were you riding, realized you ran out of gas, and hit reserve, and ran that out too?"

Him, "No."

Me, " You had it on reserve when you left, not realizing you were on reserve, and drained all of the gas?"

Him, "No, I ran out of gas, coasted to this spot here, turned on the reserve and tried to start it a couple of times. It won't start, so there must not be any gas."

Me, "There's gotta be enough gas in there to get you about 20 miles or so. You have a pressurized petcock. You need to give your throttle about two to three full turns while the bike is off, hit the choke, and she should start right up. Mind if I give it a try?"

Him, "Sure, go ahead."

I gave it a try, and she fired right up.

Him, "Thanks a million! You are a life saver. Where the hell were you 45 minutes ago?"

I followed him to the Airport area nearest gas station, and was then on my way home.

I posted this story not to boast about what I did for this guy, but to share a little knowledge for those of you who might not already know this. Hopefully I can save someone else the headache of thinking they are screwed when they are really just fine.

Happy trails!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Rocky Mountain High

My absence can be explained yet again by storm duty. I've just recently returned from a tour of storm duty, handling tornado and hail claims from Colorado. Within about one months period of time there have been over 9 significant storms. Several of which had tornados and all that produced hail. It seems ironic to be sitting in your vehicle writing up a hail damage estimate for someone's home or auto while it is hailing at that very moment. It's happened to me once. I've also been on an auto "drive in" assignment once where as we were driving to the drive in location it hailed on the vehicle we were driving three different times.

This time handling hail claims in Colorado there was a tornado one night within a neighboring city to where I was staying at. It too produced lots of damaging winds and hail. This is crazy shit. I'm glad to be home. I only hope I can stay here. Hopefully they won't need me again for awhile. Maybe I can actually get caught up on some of your blogs.

Anyway, I didn't have much time to really get out and see the sights so much, which really bums me out, because it is such a beautiful place. While on storm duty you work a minimum 12 hour day. This leaves no time for anything else but to eat, sleep and shit. Sometimes you feel like all you do is eat, sleep and shit hail. The Rockies are truly breathtaking. At times while driving along from one home to the next, I'd get beautiful glimpses, but no place to really take the photos that would do the Rockies justice, because, well, work got in the way and so did the other moving cars flying by on the freeways.

I got one shitty picture while driving. That's it. Oh, and my camera's zoom sucks, especially while driving down the freeway.

I did get an interesting set of photos that I thought I'd share.

Nice trailer huh?. See anything interesting?
(I altered the picture so you don't really see.)
Yup, That is a mighty big trailer for a motorcycle.
Another angle to show you that the bike is truly pulling that thing.

Oh wait is that actually a Fido in that trailer????? WTF! I thought it was kind of cool, and yet at the same time, kind of cruel. I got mixed feelings on this one. Keeping in mind it was in the middle to upper 90's. Although at the same time as much as I love to ride, and as much as I love my dog, and he loves me, It would be nice to take him with me sometimes.
Ain't he cute?

Scroll back two pictures and look at the guys checking this out.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Anti Monkey Butt Powder review

The first time I'd ever seen this stuff was in a major sporting goods store just before last X-mas . My eye immediately caught the bright yellow packaging with the hilarious name, the funny monkey and his big red butt.
I thought it would be a great gag gift for my Brother-in-law, so I bought it for him. We all had a good laugh about it at Christmas. After that, I didn't really ever think about it again until recently. Knowing that I ride motorcycles, I was approached to try Anti Monkey Butt Powder and do a review on it. I decided to give it a shot. I thought what the heck, nothing ventured, nothing gained. After receiving the offer to try a free sample in exchange for a review I instantly remembered this stuff I had purchased as a gag gift for my brother-in-law. I remembered thinking how funny and eye catching the packaging and name was. I remember not really taking it seriously, and feeling like it was nothing more than a smart way to market some typical baby powder. I remember thinking that it was really more of a gag than anything else.

I couldn't have been more wrong!
This is the Sh*t. They have put Calamine powder in this stuff. It works fantastic as as a drying agent and leaves no clumping. It is not over drying and does not irritate the skin. It has a pleasant smell, without making you smell girly perfumy, or making you smell like a baby's ass after a diaper change.

I was and am so impressed with the stuff, I will even go "There" with you if you know what I mean. If you have read much of my blog in the past, you know I try to keep things kind of tame, but yet am not afraid to say what is on my mind. So I'm gonna let you have the details.

Yes, I tried it. Yes, I love it. I do actually like it so much I use it every day now. Even when I'm not going to do any rigorous activities or motorcycle riding. I am a guy, and I sweat. You know where the sun don't shine. I even use it on the boys if you know what I mean. I've never in as many years as I can think of been so dry and comfortable. A little is all it takes. One application will last all day with no major sweating, and some days I'll apply twice. No biggie. I can't believe I had to wait 38 years to be blessed with such comfort down there in never never land.

Anti Monkey Butt Powder is specifically designed and marketed for those who do lots of activity and those who sit on their butts a lot. But I'm telling you this, don't think you don't fall into one of those categories, and not give it a shot. It is for everyone. (unless you never sweat, and are not human.) So give it a try. Take my word on this one. The worst that can happen is you'll be dry and comfortable all day.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Sugar Daddy

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the
86-year-old said ,'Things are great and I've never felt better.'

I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.

"So what do you think about that Doc ?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and
then began to tell a story.

"I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter
and never misses a season."

One day he was setting off to go hunting.

In a bit of a hurry , he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun."

"As he neared a lake , he came across a beaver sitting at the water's edge.

He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature.

Out of habit he raised his cane , aimed it at the animal as if
it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'."

"Miraculously , two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead..

Now, what do you think of that ?" asked the doctor.

The 86-year-old said ,
"Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else
pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied , "My point exactly."

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Tragedy hits close to home

5 motorcycles crash on I-90, tying up traffic Friday July 3rd.

What a horrible way to start the holiday weekend.
I can't help but wonder what the hell happened here. It must have been a chain reaction crash.

I hope all of you had a safe holiday weekend. I got to ride my bike to and from the family cabin this weekend and the weather for the ride was absolutely gorgeous. I was able to clear my head, and just plain enjoy the thunder of the bike below me and feel the stresses of everyday life roll away with the miles behind me.

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday. My thoughts and prayers go out to those riders and family's who did not.