"I pulled you over for Speeding. Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"

Regardless of what you ride, even if you don't ride at all, EVERYONE is welcome here.

Mr. Motorcycle

I am

My photo
I live at 1 Frozen place in, Minnesota, United States
My real name is Mark. For many years now my wife has called me Mr. Motorcycle. When I started my Blog I was looking for a catchy blog name, so I went with it. I'm happily married and I'm also a father of 6 children. I have two human offspring, one dog, two cats and one custom Harley. I believe that makes 6 children. When I'm not doing my real full time job, or going for a ride, I like to do art, custom paint jobs, and of course BLOG. If you would like to contact me, my e-mail address is phonetically spelled for avoiding spammers. (I actually do use the number 1 in the beginning.) 1mrmotorcycleATgmailDOTcom

*****This is my Bliss*****

*****This is my Bliss*****
Depending on your settings, Click, or Double Click on the image for full size photo.
The photo above is my ride :
"Kenny" started life as a stock '97, 883 Sportster. It's been a work in progress since the day I bought it many years ago. Its mostly custom with a built, "slightly juiced up" 1200 motor.
The Metal Fabrication, bodywork and custom paint was done by me.

How the Hell did I come up with a name like Kenny for my bike you ask?...... Most people who name their rides, go with chick names. I of course had to be different. I think bikes look tough, cool and masculine; not feminine. Plus, my father "Ken" has helped make me who I am today. Therefore with a little twist on the name, my bike was named "Kenny".


Come check out my custom paint! Click on the logo above to go to my custom paint blog.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

I was too drunk to drive my motorcycle home last night.

Last night I went out drinking with my buddies.
We went to the local watering hole we always meet at.
A good time was had by all.
Maybe too good a time for me, because I was way too drunk to safely ride my motorcycle home.
Being the responsible person I am, I was going to get a cab. When I called for one, the wait was longer than I was willing to stand, and I really wanted to leave before Momma got too angry 'bout how late I was out with the guys. So the next best option was to take a bus home; which I did.
It was pretty amazing, because I have never driven a bus before, and I haven't yet figured out who's bus it was that I took either! I'm guessing I'll find out soon enough.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Headlining news! Diego busted!

In today's news...

Dora the Explorer's cousin Diego takes up a life of crime; and witnesses report that he had a sidekick named Swiper with him. 

Diego was caught in the act and photographed by some locals.

America's dumbest Criminals has footage of Diego trying to burglarize a home in Denver, Colorado. While attempting to gain access into the home or flee the residence, he got stuck between the opening  of a window air conditioner and the window frame.

Local Denver Police responded to the 911 call made by a neighbor and now have Diego in custody for questioning. Charges for the attempted theft are being pressed. The police released a statement that no one was hurt, and nothing was stolen, and because nothing was near the window and the home owners reported nothing stolen, they believe Diego got stuck trying to enter the home.

Local witnesses report Swiper the Fox likely had involvement in the attempted burglary. This was confirmed by the responding officer who reports that he saw Swiper the Fox fleeing the scene upon their arrival.
A warrant for Swiper the Fox has been isssued, and it is believed that he may be armed and dangerous!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


Kulest F'n helmets made.

I got a new lid this year. It is custom made in Brazil from Joe King Speed Shop. They make them to order with custom paint. They are the lowest profile 'Ol skool helmets on the market. Lower profile than any other brand out there! Lower profile means less wind drag.

No kidding, this is the ONLY helmet I've ever owned that I truly love. I like it so much that I'd rather wear it than not wear a helmet at all, and Minnesota is not a helmet law state.
It just feels good and looks freaking awesome.
85+ M.P.H, and still little to no wind drag with this helmet and no windshield.
It is not DOT, but still way better than no helmet, if you are looking for safety.
Also, it looks F'n cool. No mushroom head.

I had a 3/4 Fulmer V2 helmet prior to this one and I thought that was pretty good, but still had some significant wind drag, which wore me out if riding all day on the freeways. Also, in comparison to this helmet, I did actually look like I had a mushroom head.

This is much lower profile than the Fulmer V2.
If you go to the website http://joeking-speedshop.blogspot.com/ , you can see the difference in size of the Joe King helmets, Vs. the other brands out there.

Here is a few pictures with me wearing my new Lid, so you can see for yourself that the helmet is realyy low profile and is really F'n cool looking.

Thanks Paulo! I Love my new lid!

P.S. Check out the website to look an a gazillion other custom helmets he has done for clients.

You too can have a custom helmet made for yourself. I swear you won't regret it! 

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Really?, No I mean REALLY?

Yesterday while driving down the road, I saw the most fucktarded motorcycle yet. A newer BMW with apes and forward controls going down the road. I didn't have time to get a photo of it, before it exited onto another part of the freeway. I tried to find a picture of another douchetard's bike similar to it to show you how stupid it looked, but I couldn't find even one. I wonder why. Prolly 'Cause it looks fucking stupid!!!!

I feel better now that I've gotten that off my chest and shared it with you.
Wanna know how I really feel?


Thursday, June 30, 2011

Monday, June 27, 2011


O.K. at least I gotta give it to her that she respects the Harley.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

666 ... Resident Evil

I drove by this house yesterday. There was nothing special about it except the address. It didn't look weird or anything, so I didn't bother taking a picture of it. However, I did take a picture of the mailbox.

I'm into things like skulls and such; you know, stuff that looks kinda bad ass. But this... I don't think I could live here. Honestly. It would creep me out. Besides, what do you think it would do for your re-sale value?

I think it is kind of cool how they played off of it though. Note the black creepy mailbox in comparison to the others in the bank of mailboxes, and the positioning of the numbers are kind of like the almost triangle on Damien's head from the Omen.

I guess if that is the address you end up with, why not be clever about it.

Still creepy.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Nice day for a ride

There is nothing like the open road to put a little spark into a relationship!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

2011 Donnie Smith Bike Show

Here is some stuff that caught my eye.

Sweet!!! Need I say more?

Iron Maiden's Eddie was pretty cool.

Love the little creepy dude, and LOVE this paint!

Big front wheels seem to be a new trend.

Thought this one was pretty sweet.

Friday, April 22, 2011

My fortune cookie says....

Money is the root of all evil and man needs roots.

I love it!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Yuengling Traditional Lager

I peeled off my bottle label and brought it back home just to share with you.

Since 1829 by America's Oldest Brewery!

Now that's saying something!

I was Yuengling de-virginized when I was on storm duty handling insurance property hail claims in Alabama this spring. Now had it not been for posts from Jay at Road Captain USA, I would have never even heard of this beer, let alone been intrigued enough to try it. You see, Jay lives in Delaware. Just a hop skip and a jump away from Pennsylvania where Yuengling is brewed.

WTF this beer was doing all the way across the country in Alabama, I've no clue, but there it was. I just had to try it. I'm glad I did, cause it is pretty damn fine beer.

I'm not a big fan of beer with little to no beer flavor. You know those Sexy beers, those beers that are like love in a canoe. You know. Fucking near water! HA! LOL!

I must admit, even though it is virtually flavorless, I do partake in a Mich Golden Light here and there to try to help keep in check my slender girlish figured beer belly.

Anyway, it is an amber beer. Not what I expected at all.

Thanks Jay for the heads up way back when.

Think I'll go get me a beer now that we are talking about it. You go do the same. Cheers!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Back together

The Titan Sidewinder that I custom painted has been put back together. I hope to see it in person soon. Yeah, someone else owns it, just like most things I paint, but a little piece of it feels like it is mine.

The paint jobs always take on a different feel when the bike is put back together.

I'm diggin this one.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Friday, February 25, 2011

Purple Faded Flames on a Helmet

This is a start to finish demonstration of custom painting flames.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Gettin ready to do some air brushing

For those of you who have checked out my paint blog, I'm sure you've seen these pictures; but for those who have not, this is a tank I painted. This is what a flame job lay out looks like in the masked off stage as it gets ready for some airbrushed color.

Remember the Titan Sidewinder frame I posted a while back? More of that bike to come soon. Hopefully will have another post of some of that work in a couple of weeks.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Riding weather comming soon? Nope........I don't think so.

We've had so much snow this year!

Unlike winters passed, we haven't really seen the deer in our back yard.

I think the snow was so deep the deer must have actually been burried in it........

Up until now that is.
I think summer is finally on it's way, because we can now see the deer moving about again.

Yep, Won't be long now!

Coming soon to a neighborhood near me: Riding weather! NOT!

Monday, February 7, 2011


Now mind you, I have been happily married for almost 20 years now, so this is not me talking, but this was just too funny not to pass along.
When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.
When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened to commit suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am older and much wiser now, and I am looking once again for a girl with big tits.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Got Snow?

It's been a white wintery not so wunderland here in Minnesota this year, and I know many other places as well.

Matter of fact, this year in Minnesota, we broke the all time record in the month of December for snow fall, and the snow has not stopped yet. It just keeps coming and coming and coming. It's like the Energizer Bunny on Viagra doing porn.

Being an insurance adjuster, I think I've handled more interior water damage claims caused by ice dams due to the repeated large snow falls this year than any other year before. Correction, I know I have.

Mrs. M. refers to this year as "Snowmageddon".

So for me and all of the other snow bound riders out there who won't be riding any time soon, I am posting this to lighten our spirits.

Below is an aerial photo of the average upstate NY & New England commute for folks these days....

O.K. after seeing this, I'm convinced it is not so bad here and I am officially done bitchin about the Minnesota snow....(Maybe).

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Stolen from the internet... Had to post it.

I love snow, but C'mon. Enough is enough!
Is it too early to start itching to ride already?

Friday, January 28, 2011

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Here is the answer to: When is the Minnesota . Wisconsin Spring and Fall Flood runs.

It's basically the same every year, but the dates fluctuate.

The Spring Flood Run is always on the 3rd Saturday of April, unless that weekend happens to be the one with an Easter Sunday. In that case the run goes to the following weekend on Saturday.

The Fall Flood Run is always on the 3rd Saturday in September.

The run starting point is at the Beach Club Bar in Lake St. Croix Beach.

The ride usually starts gathering around 10:00 A.M. or so and departs in groups around noon or so. The times are pretty flexible and open.

The answer to when is the Defrost Your Nuts Run and Frost Your Nuts Run

When is the Minnesota - Wisconsin Defrost Your Nuts Run and Frost Your Nuts Run?

It's the same every year, although the dates change.
Defrost Your Nuts Run is always the 2nd Saturday in April and the Frost Your Nuts Run is always the 2nd Saturday in October.

Where is the Minnesota - Wisconsin Defrost Your Nuts Run and Frost Your nuts Run Starting Point?

The runs always gather in the morning. People start showing up to hang around pretty early; roughly 10:00 A.M. or earlier. The run leaves the Mallalieu Bar in staggard groups randomly as early as 10:30 A.M. t0 noon.

Where is the Mallalieu Bar?

North Hudson, Wisconsin.
Google Map to the Mallalieu Bar, in North Hudson, Wisconsin
For those using GPS, wanting the actual Street Address of the Mallalieu Bar, it is:
414 Wisconsin St. N.
N. Hudson, Wisconsin
Should you need to contact the bar, the Ph# is (715) 386-8165.

Both of these are typically referred to as one of the "Nuts run"(s).

Question: Have you ever seen a pair of nuts run?

Four your enjoyment.
Here ya go.

Now get yer arse out there and ride!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Jay Leno's Garage - Rocket II Trike

Click on the picture to see the video. This is pretty cool.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Do dogs go to Heaven?

Absolutely hysterical that this happened.
These two churches face each other across the street from one another.