Thursday, January 28, 2010
Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials.
“Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.”
The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.” “In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they should stop.”
According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960’s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers” to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.
“They peed on me!!!” charged one activist. “They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’, and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!”
“I…I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket, and he…he didn’t even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, ‘You can’t prove that.’ Next thing I know he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and would not let me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman.”
Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.”
Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed “surprise” at the allegations.
“That’s preposterous,” said one high-ranking member of the biker organizing committee. “We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome.”
When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and ‘farting on their heads,’ the organizer declined to comment in detail. “That’s just our secret handshake,” assured the organizer.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
I seem to have mellowed a bit more with each passing year. Maybe I'm getting older, and a bit wiser. Life sure seems better viewing it as an optimist, rather than living life through the eyes of a pessimist. With the arrival of winter each year, I realize I have to put the bike away for the season, but this only brings up a new season of thrills and beauty to come. I have come to accept that to live in Minnesota you have to learn to Love ALL 4 seasons. If you don't 3-4 months out of the year, you could potentially find yourself pretty miserable. Winter is just a thing we have to deal with. I've learned the more I go at it with this kind of attitude, the less the snow and cold seems to bother me. I love to ice fish. I love and appreciate the beauty of winter landscapes. I love snow on Christmas, and I like to snowmobile and downhill ski once in a while.
I don't ski wussy hills like the one pictured below, but had to take a picture of the run's sign while I was on my way to the double black diamond runs.
How could you pass up a name like Harley's Hollow?
Keep smiling. Spring isn't too far away.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
I Thought this was kind of cool, and figured this was Blogable. I see it quite often. There is a distinct reverse image of the Harley Davidson Bar and Shield Logo left on one of my favorite chairs.