AN IRISH BLONDE IN A CASINO

Sorry this one is so late on St. Patty's day, but just had my first chance to sit at the computer today at 8:30 P.M. Central.

Anyway, I just got this emailed joke, and thought I would share.

Enjoy!


An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland arrived at the casino.. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice.
She said, I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude.

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...YES! YES! I WON, I WON!

She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, 'What did she roll?
The other answered,
'I don't know - I thought you were watching.

MORAL OF THE STORY -

Not all Irish are drunks,
not all blondes are dumb,
but all men...are men.

Cystic Fibrosis Run

If you are in the Upper East portion of Kansas, or Lower East portion of Nebraska, or Upper West Missouri, then this is the run for you.

Please click on image below to enlarge if you are interested.

Finally after all this time, the puzzle is complete!

Back on April 29th, 2008, I did a post called Motorcycle Puzzle has whole family puzzled.

Motorcycle Scramble Squares not in order


My 13 year old daughter had a friend over this last weekend for a sleep over, and one of the things they accomplished was completing this puzzle that no one has done until now. We've had it for over two years.
I just had to post it for the record.

Motorcycle Scramble Squares in order!

Happy Friday the 13th all! As bikers we should all know about Lucky 13.

It's Friday, so lets talk FAT TUESDAY!


Or at least, Lets take a looksee at a funny Fat Tuesday Photo!

Spread the word

If you ride motorcycles, or are into motorcycles, please take the time to check out this blog. It is a definite keeper. Well worth the read.


Better Motorcycling

FaceBook

Say, Just what we bloggers need is one more thing to consume our time right?

Anyway, If you haven't noticed on my right side bar, you will see a "Find me on FaceBook" link. I just recently started F.B. for short. I've found lots of old friends from High school, etc, and lots of fellow bloggers as well.

I just had a fellow blogger ask me how to get the badge for his own blog.

Well, her's how:

Go to your FaceBook profile page. Scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page, and on the left hand side you should see "create a profile badge". Click on it and follow the steps. Select the one you want, and then you add it to your blog like any other HTML add on.

For those of you who have not signed up for the FaceBook Time/life sucker, I encourage you to do so.

Warning! Explicit photo! Dangerous breed dog category...

For those of you who follow my blog regularly, you know how much of an animal lover I am. Good care between our children and our pets must be taken. I find the picture below disturbing,and give you fair warning that what you are about to see is explicit.
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If you are the owner of a dog that belongs to a "dangerous breed" category, and you also have a small child , or children, please take this as a warning.

Do not leave your small children with a dog unattended under any circumstances. It only took a few short moments for the following to happen.

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Scroll down

But seriously folks, vicious dogs are in every breed, and so are nice dogs. It's all in the way they are trained, and loved. I've seen vicious chihuahuas. You don't see them on a dangerous breed list.

New Vs. Old, or shall we say educated.

A very self-important 20something year old was just dying to show off the new crotch rocket he had recently acquired.
He was attending his very first biker rally ever. He was chumming around with some of his young biker friends, and took it upon himself to explain to an elderly group of bikers with their full dressers
why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation, and why their bikes were so much cooler.

'You and your Geezer Glides grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one,' the young man said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. 'The young people of today are much more advanced than people your age. We grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon and the Internet. We have cell phones, nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers, automated manufacturing, amazing technologies, ...and,' pausing to take another drink of beer.

The old biker took advantage of the break in the kid's litany and said, 'You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young.....so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little shit, what are YOU doing for the next generation?'

The applause amongst the crowd was resounding...

I love old bikers. You can learn so much!

Toot Toot!

I wasn't going to do it, first of all because I didn't like the rules about listing only (5) other fabulous blogs. Hell let's just face it, I don't like rules.

But someone... Baron, who gave me the award, prodded me.

"Mr. Motorcycle Sir.... You are Funny man.
You should get on with it and process your Fabulous Blog Award..There is no time limit on when you can do it."


So here I am "tooting my horn" for you.

First off, not only did I not like all the rules, But I didn't like the picture.... either.

In my opinion...Considering this is a motorcycle blog, something like this would be a bit more appropriate.


Here are the rules to receiving this award:
1. You have to pass it on to 5 other fabulous bloggers in a post. (NOT GONNA HAPPEN) too many good ones.
2. You have to list 5 of your fabulous addictions in the post.
3. You must copy and paste the rules and the instructions below in the post.

Instructions:
On your post receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them.


So here are my addictions: (No particular order per line, but in order 1-5)
1. My Wife, My kids, My pets and My friends.

2. My Harley, I love everything about it. Suddenly, I feel the need for speed.

3. My Dodge Charger, (ditto above)

4. The internet, computers, and technogadgets, including music, Ipods, etc. (Excluding video games. I hate that shit.)

5. Tools of all kinds. This includes all of the things I get to build, create, paint, fix, remodel, etc. with these tools. (P.S. Art supplies count as tools in my book.)


My Fave Five blogs. Well, you know.... Rules were made for Sheeple.

Thanks Baron for thinking of me. If I was going to list some of the good ones, I'd be sure to mention you.

What's in a name?

Road names, Many of us have one, many of us don't.

Blog names, Most of us got.

A road name is traditionally not picked by the bearer of the name, but rather is bestowed upon them by a fellow rider of a group. Usually for something they have done, or in a way a right of passage earned in many cases.

A road name can be simply a nickname, a joke of sorts, or an honorable title.

I have no road name, as I do not typically ride in groups, or belong to a MC, or even a HOG chapter. I have a blog name that was bestowed onto me by an anonymous blogger, and to keep names secret, decided that when talking about me, Mr. Motorcycle was fitting. So when I started my blog, the name just fit, and it stuck.

The stories behind the names are what truly make them interesting.

Here is your chance to tell us your story weather it is about your blog name, or road name, or both. Weather you gave the name(s) yourself, or had it/them given to you, let's hear your story!

123456789101112

I don't preferably like eating crow but the older I get, the easier it is. I feel that when you are a real man you are O.K. with admitting when you are wrong. I've done it publicly on my blog before, and why not here again.

My wife and I for what ever reason, for likely the last 6 months have argued about weather or not the 123456789101112 thing was from Sesame Street of Electric Co. I said Electric Co, she said Sesame Street. She was right again. I searched it out and found a YouTube video of it, and it is clearly Sesame Street.

Click on the image to watch and enjoy the nostalgia of it all.

Kanji

Kanji is a Japanese pictogram. It is what we usually think of when we see Asian writing of any kind. I can not tell the difference between Korean, Chinese, Japanese, or any other. They all look the same to me.

I amongst others in the motoblogosphere have been getting the shit spammed out of me big time. I've been deleting the comments left by this "ed" mutherfucker. Ed is using Kanji, or some other similar Asian pictogram writing to get his message across. I think he's got some nifty software working for him, or a company doing it because he is either manually wasting his time, or somehow bypassing word verification. This shit takes time! I deleted 14 comments left from him today alone!

I'd hate to have to do comment moderation. Hopefully he'll get tired of us soon. Your best weapon is to delete his comments folks! If you leave them, he wins. If you put your cursor over them, you'll see they are hyper links. I would not click on them to see where they go. They may link into VIRUSville, or he may get money for clicks, which could be his motivation.

Ed, I have one thing to say to you....




Oh, yeah, ed, In case you can't read Engrish, turn your head ed sideways, to read Go Fuck Yourself!

Cancel your credit card before you die

(hilarious!)

I tried to Snopes this to check it's validity, and they found nothing, so if not true, still funny as a joke.

Now some people are really stupid!!!!
Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die.

This is so priceless, and so, so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.

Here is the exchange :

Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'

Citibank: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member: 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'

Citibank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

Citibank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

Citibank: 'Excuse me?'

Family Member: 'Did you j ust get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'

Citibank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'


Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'

Citibank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

Citibank: (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Law yer info was given)

Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member: 'Sure.' (Fax number was given )


After they get the fax :

Citibank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'

Family Member: 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'

Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges will still apply.'

(What is wrong with these people?!?)

Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?'

Citibank: 'That might help...'

Family Member: ' Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'

Citibank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet???'



(Priceless!!)
You wondered why Citi is going broke and need the feds to bail them out!!

Crack in the windshield

Sooooo,
Driving down the road, out of the blue a very large crack appears in the windshield. I try to look left, I try to look right, either way, that damned crack was still in my vision.

.

Can you even put words into an explanation for this???

Bobber

This is the cyber bobber I built. I named it Bob. Go figure.
Go ahead and try it. It's really cool and really easy. Besides, while you are at it, you can enter to win a Perewitz chopper! Just click on the picture to go directly to the site.

Gnats Ass

As quoted by Lady Ridesalot A.K.A. Glider Rider on Thursday Feb. 19th, in her Too close for comfort post..."He just missed hitting the front of my car by a gnat's ass!"

This reminded me of all of the different things we say for terms of measurement.

Just how big of a distance is a gnats ass anyway?

Maybe it's only about 6".

Maybe It's about 1 foot.

Maybe even a foot and a half

Or two feet even!

Nah, I think it's closer measured in.....

Crazier than riding twisties on a motorcycle...

SWISSPASS 2 : GRIMSELL jean yves blondeau buggy rollin

Due to copy right, this cannot be embedded, so when you click on the picture, It'll take you to YouTube.

This guy actually passes this motorcycle.
(Enjoy the adrenaline rush!)

Looking winter in the eye and laughing at it, because crying won't get me riding any sooner.

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blond catches up. She jumps out
of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.
.

The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and
you are losing some of your load."
.

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again.
She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.
.

Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the
blond says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some
of your load!"
.

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the
street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again.
.

All out of breath, the blond gets out of her car, runs up, knocks
on the truck door. The trucker rolls d own the window. Again she
says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
.

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next
light.
.

When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and
runs back to the blond. He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says........"Hi, My name is Mark, it's winter in Minnesota and I'm driving the
SALT TRUCK!"

Thought provoking.

I'm not sure if every thing here is fact, but some is, and if nothing else, it is very thought provoking.

How many zeros in a billion?

The next time you hear a politician use the
word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about
whether you want the 'politicians' spending
YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend,
but one advertising agency did a good job of
putting that figure into some perspective in
one of it's releases.


A.

A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

B.

A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

C.

A billion hours ago our ancestors were
living in the Stone Age.

D.

A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E.

A billion dollars ago was only

8 hours and 20 minutes,

at the rate our government

is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain...

let's take a look at New Orleans

It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.

Louisiana Senator,

Mary Landrieu (D)

is presently askingCongress for

250 BILLION DOLLARS

to rebuild New Orleans Interesting number...

what does it mean?

A.

Well... if you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans

(every man, woman, and child)

you each get$516,528.

B.

Or... if you have one of the 188,251 homes in
New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.

C.

Or... if you are a family of four...

your family gets $2,066,012.

Washi ngton, D. C

HELLO!

Are all your calculators broken??

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax

Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Tax
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage ChargeTax
Utility Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...
and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.

We had absolutely no national debt...

We had the largest middle class in the world...

and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What happened?

Can you spell 'politicians!'

And I still have to

press "1"

for English.

I hope this goes aroundthe

USA

at least 100 times

What the HECK happened?????

Coincidence??? Did "Sam Crow" inspire the name "SAMCRO"?

For those of you who don't watch the television show Son's of Anarchy, here is an explanation of the word SAMCRO. It is an acronym for Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club Redwood Original. This is what they refer to their Motorcycle Club as.


I'm just starting to read the second book in a series of "Prey" novels by John Sandford. The series is fantastic, and has gotten great praise from critics, and readers alike.


The second book is Shadow Prey. I'm just getting started. Then I read this here, and was struck with the question if the writers from the new hit television show Son's of Anarchy ever read the novels, and if they put a play on words, or if this is merely a coincidence.


I've blown this page up into bigger pictures below, so don't try to strain your eyes to read this one.






Things that make you go Hmmm?